Pet Smart

We recently went to the Pet Store to get a name tag for Racer’s Collar. The print on his old one was wearing off because we had forgotten to place the protective plastic covering on it. We stood at the machine as it was made and then we leaned over my dog to clip it onto his collar. Racer was standing very still as we hovered over him. Meanwhile a fluffy dog sneaks up and sniffs my dogs butt! Racer turns his head quickly to see who the visitor is. I imagined my dog saying, “excusez-Moi! Do you mind?” Nothing like a cold wet nose in your butt to get your attention. Before any of us could respond the dog and his human darted down an aisle. Racer I guess it was a drive by sniffing!

 

“You can never tell about a person by guessing...that's why language was invented. Otherwise, we'd all be like dogs, sniffing each other to find out where we stood.” ~Alice Hoffman   

Freudian slips or are you just blind?

When I was in my twenties and had some pretty good vision but had to start using a cane, I became friends with Kyle who had lost his sight from diabetes. He was the first person who I connected with who was totally blind and had a guide dog, well the dog was from the Seeing Eye to be exact. I would talk to Kyle about losing all of his sight and He said that when his vision was going there was a period of time when he had a tiny bit left but it just made him confused and he was relieved to just lose the sight completely. I couldn’t imagine wanting to lose whatever vision I had remaining. Honestly I feel at ease now that I am a total. I was constantly trying to figure out if I would be able to see something with this amount of light or that amount of magnification. I used to leave for work and freak out if I couldn’t find a magnifier that I needed to function. I was constantly trying to tell people what I could or couldn’t see. I had a software program that magnified my computer screen called zoom text and I would sit with my nose up to the computer. I was using Facebook then and when old status updates come up from years past I cringe because almost every post has a typo. Reading the “on this day” section of Facebook is supposed to be nostalgic but I just cringe. Today one popped up from 2009 and I had written that the weather put me in a bed mood. I am pretty sure I was trying to say bad mood. Then there was the time that I posted that I was attending a gluten free sexpo when really it was an expo. I am sure this was because of my eyesight and not Freudian slips although I have heard a joke that once you make one Freudian slip it’s just one after a mother. I was getting my under grad during this time of visual impairment so I bet I had some big typos in my assignments because spell check doesn’t get everything. I am not claiming that I never make typos now but since I use speech software on my computer I can catch misspellings better because it will read the misspelled word really strangely and my ear catches it. It’s unique to be on both sides of blindness. The times where I was clinging to a little bit of sight and now when I am totally blind. I can really see what Kyle meant and it’s ok. Even though I am saying all of this now I don’t think my earlier self would believe me on this issue. We only know our experience and I hadn’t gone totally blind then so I would never believe that I would feel this way. Also I am always thinking about the psychology of things, is this a way of coping with blindness? Here I am writing a post about how ok I am with blindness. I am open to that idea. Sure it is painful to not see photos anymore or not be able to enjoy an art show like I used to. I also can’t enjoy interior decorating shows. Is my brain telling myself that it’s not that bad to be blind so that I can handle it? Hmmm. Something to ponder.   

RIP Kyle. You went too soon. I miss hanging out with you and your sweet guide Toledo. Your kidneys and pancreas failed you and I don’t know why some people aren’t allowed to live a long life. When you receive a guide dog you are always thinking about the day when you might have to retire the dog but I don’t think people really think that it might be their dog that outlives them and their dog will be sitting so stoic, at their funeral, greeting their friends and family.         

A Walk With Racer

We went for our usual early morning walk and chose a route we haven’t done in a few weeks. We were walking along and Racer stopped which usually means there is an obstacle in our path, i.e. overgrown bush or someone’s lawn tools or anything people leave on a sidewalk. Sometimes he stops me though and it is just because he thinks it is time for a treat because he is such a good dog. It is up to me to figure out why he stopped.  I reach a hand in front of us but I couldn’t tell anything was in our way so I said, “Let’s go” and Racer immediately placed a paw on my foot. It was so super cute. I then reached up high and there was a leafy twig sticking out about to hit me in the eyes. He is such a good guide dog. He has improved so much. I don’t know if it is him that has improved or if I have improved my handling skills or if it is just that we are better in tune to each other. I love it though and these are definitely the good years right now so I want to document these great experiences so I don’t forget them.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

Racer has a nice bed under my desk at work and another one at home in the living room. In the corner of my bedroom though we only have a huge dog pillow for a bed and it started wearing out and got a hole in it so we went to the pet store to see what we could find. We decided on a fluffy bed and the price seemed too good to pass up. When we got to the cashier though he told us it was double the price of what we had expected because it had been put on the wrong shelf. I had already fallen in love with it and just decided to buy it anyway. The cashier told us if Racer didn’t like it we could bring it back. We got home and put it in place and it seemed way too over stuffed and puffy. Racer stepped onto it and wagged his tail and settled in. Good sign! I walked into the kitchen and started the microwave. I walked back to the bed and reached down to pat Racer but he was outside the bed lying down. I placed my hand on the new bed and said, “Racer, do you like your new bed?” and he stood up and got back into it. The microwave beeped and I went back to the kitchen to check on the food. I came back into the bedroom and once again Racer was outside the bed lying on the carpet. Hmmm, I sighed. My phone rings and my boyfriend says that he thinks the bed was too expensive and we should take it back and I agreed. Racer just wasn’t taking to it. Back in the car we go, and we find a bed that is more the same style of our other beds and it is 15 dollars cheaper so we get home and try again. Racer steps onto it and wags his tail, lies down and stays there. I go into my computer room and get online. Racer usually follows me into the office but he stayed in his bed. Good sign. After about twenty minutes he walks into the computer room to check on me and I finish typing and we both walk into the bedroom. I start folding clothes and he looks at his new bed and runs toward it wagging his tail and jumps on it greeting it as if it is a long lost friend that he hasn’t seen in ages. YAY! Usually in the middle of the night Racer gets out of his bed and walks over to where I’m sleeping and rubs his nose with mine and then runs back to his bed and falls asleep. I think it is super cute but it wakes me up and sometimes I can’t fall back asleep. The first night with his new bed, he stays there all night and never wakes me up with his nose. I do however wake up once during the night because I can hear him snoring loudly. He usually isn’t a loud snorer but I laugh to myself because I think he really is taking to his new bed. Success Finally!   

Purple Booties

We went to the Utah Arts Festival last night. We put on Racer’s cute purple disposable booties to protect his paws from the hot pavement. The temps were in the 90’s. We stayed in the shade the entire time and listened to music. We bought some food and I put a bowl of water down for Racer and after he drank from it he proceeded to lie down on the water. He didn’t exactly lay his face in the bowl but he positioned himself so that his neck was in the water. When we stood up, I felt his cold dripping neck and said, “What a good idea Racer.” He had stopped panting. Last year at the Arts Festival I remember hearing lots of people walk by us and say things like, “what a cute dog.” This year it was all about the booties. “Look at his cute purple mitts” “Ahh did you see those paws!” I think about twelve people stopped and asked if they could pet him and we told them no. We got the chance to educate people about why it is best not to pet service dogs. Bob said it was just funny to see people walking by and they would be frowning and then they would suddenly see Racer and his cute purple booties and a big smile would emerge. A couple of people asked if they could take his picture. Racer definitely steals the show wherever we go. He is our little celebrity.  

Time Races By

I was thinking back to the first few days home with Racer . The morning we flew home he knew something was up because I skipped his breakfast so that he wouldn’t be needing bathroom breaks during the flight. I shouldn’t say skipped because he did get his breakfast that day only it was a little later after we were in SLC. Bob had arrived in CA in time to attend the graduation and we were now flying home all together. We landed in UT and Bob told me to wait by the baggage claim with Racer while he stepped outside to find out which shuttle to take. He starts walking away and Racer looks up at me, once he realized I wasn’t budging, he took matters into his own hands and I think he was thinking, We need to follow that man because I have no idea where we are and this girl is blind! He takes off trotting after Bob as if to say, WAIT! Don’t leave me alone with this chick! I was gripping the harness and calling out to Bob, “I guess we are following you! “Racer had only known me for 2 weeks and only known Bob for 36 hours. It only took him that long to realize who knew what was what. The next morning I was at my office bright and early ready to show Racer around the area. All the cubicles look alike of course (rat maze), and Racer took a while to learn exactly where to turn for my cubicle. He kept turning into the cubicle next to mine instead. Ron, one of my co-workers, in an effort to help Racer remember my cubicle, drew a picture of a dog and splashed some coconut oil on the drawing (he said his dog loves coconut oil). He placed the scented drawing right outside my cubicle right at Racers level. It was a cute idea! The GDB instructor and I had a good laugh.     

Tails and Tractors

Racer and I arrive at our first bus stop and he taps his nose on the pole to tell me we are there. I praise him and stand facing the street while he sits beside me. I hear the manager of the store behind us unlocking the door. The manager often says hello to us in the mornings and I hear him call out to us. I turn around to wave and he says, “I should tell you that there is a large tractor parked right in front of you where the bus usually pulls up.” He walks over to us and walks me around to the side of it and we decide that I should stand off the curb next to the tractor so that the bus will see me and stop for us. The manager says I should be safe standing under the bucket of the tractor. I thank him and he walks back to his store. I laugh to myself picturing what Racer must have been thinking when he saw the tractor sitting there and here we were just standing two feet from it just staring straight ahead and I had no idea. He was probably thinking this should be interesting…