Purple Booties

We went to the Utah Arts Festival last night. We put on Racer’s cute purple disposable booties to protect his paws from the hot pavement. The temps were in the 90’s. We stayed in the shade the entire time and listened to music. We bought some food and I put a bowl of water down for Racer and after he drank from it he proceeded to lie down on the water. He didn’t exactly lay his face in the bowl but he positioned himself so that his neck was in the water. When we stood up, I felt his cold dripping neck and said, “What a good idea Racer.” He had stopped panting. Last year at the Arts Festival I remember hearing lots of people walk by us and say things like, “what a cute dog.” This year it was all about the booties. “Look at his cute purple mitts” “Ahh did you see those paws!” I think about twelve people stopped and asked if they could pet him and we told them no. We got the chance to educate people about why it is best not to pet service dogs. Bob said it was just funny to see people walking by and they would be frowning and then they would suddenly see Racer and his cute purple booties and a big smile would emerge. A couple of people asked if they could take his picture. Racer definitely steals the show wherever we go. He is our little celebrity.  

It Makes Sense

I am in awe of my experience with blindness. I’m not saying I wouldn’t jump at the chance to get my vision back, but honestly it is interesting to me to think about the way I experienced the world when I had sight verses now when I am blind. Just thinking about the human body and how it compensates, I remember going to a lecture where the speaker said that the visual cortex is a very large part of the brain. But when a person goes blind the brain switches gears and sends more signals to the other parts of the brain which control the other senses, so they get more nutrients and blood flow and they grow larger and larger while the visual cortex actually shrinks.

It’s springtime now, and today I was on my early morning walk around the Avenues. My guide dog leads me and takes the stress out of navigating through the neighborhood so I am able to daydream and notice what my other senses are picking up. We set out at 6:30 am, and at that time there are so many birds singing. It is so loud and beautiful that it makes me imagine that I am in a rain forest. I even hear a wood pecker nearby. I start to smell fragrant flowers that are so sweet and the scent is so potent I think I must be walking through a flower shop. I want to bottle it and use it for perfume. This particular morning a very unexpected scent hits my nose, and I could tell my dog was keen to it too. The most sensational aroma of fried chicken permeated this section of the block. How strange! At this hour of the morning? Really! I don’t know who was drooling more, me or my dog!

I used to go on many walks when I was sighted, but I don’t remember experiencing any of the things that caught my interest this morning on our fabulous walk through the Avenues!

Street Corner Religion

This originally appeared on the Vision Through Words blog on Feb 10, 2016.

https://visionthroughwords.wordpress.com/2016/02/10/street-corner-religion/

 

 I was walking from the bus to my office one cold morning. I was standing at the corner of an intersection waiting for the light to change and cupping my one free hand over my nose and mouth to stay warm. A man walked up and said, “Hi doggie, what’s your name?” I said, “Please don’t talk to him because he is working.” The man then starts talking to me and says he used to be on oxygen, but then God healed him. “Oh that’s nice,” I said. My ears perk up and I realize that the light has changed, and we are so close to getting to my warm office. I give Racer the hand gesture for forward, and don’t have to say anything; he just starts leading me across. The man stays put, but I hear him calling after us, “I prayed, and prayed, and prayed.” His words just hung in the chilly air echoing on and on. It’s weird but I felt like my dog was in agreement with me that this guy was a quack. Maybe what he had to share with me was meaningful but his delivery was lacking. I couldn’t help but wonder why he had decided to share that bit of information with me. Was he indicating that his illness was similar to my blindness and he wanted to offer praying as a solution? Would he have shared this information with just anyone at the corner? I can’t help but feel that it had something to do with my disability. Multiple times I’ve been approached by other strangers who try to tell me that there are doctors who can fix my blindness. They are certain that they have read somewhere about a procedure that will help me. I assure them that I visit a specialist every year who would inform me of any cutting edge remedies. I’ve come to terms with my blindness, but apparently people I sometimes encounter have not. If I were to tell that man my true feelings about praying to be healed, I would say that it would feel too arrogant to ask God to heal me. I would rather God spend his energy on more pressing issues, like granting food to the starving children around the world. Blindness, I can deal with. Going without food, now that’s a problem.

Old Yeller

We stepped onto the elevator at the ski lodge and a young boy exclaimed, “Your dog looks just like Old Yeller!” My boyfriend says, “How do you know about Old Yeller?” The boy explains that he read it in school and saw the movie. We arrived at the 6^th floor and the doors opened. I decided I better download Old Yeller so that I could participate in future literary discussions with ten year olds. The next day is Sunday and boyfriend stops by my place and notices I’ve been crying and asks me about it. “Old Yeller,” I said. He can’t believe I’ve finished it in one afternoon. I remind him it’s only a three hour audio book. Aren’t Mormon Church services that long? Hey, and it is a Sunday after all.

 

“A children's story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children's story in the slightest.”
― C.S. Lewis

 

Happy Friday

It seems like I have been writing about mishaps on the bus lately so I wanted to write about our bus ride today because it is an example of a great bus day. I take two different buses in the morning to get to work. I had both of my favorite bus drivers today and both buses were on time. Hardly anyone was on the bus and nobody talked to me. I leaned back against the seat and Racer gently rested his head on my foot. It was tranquil and warm. I love mornings like this on public transit. It is Friday and I’m always in a good mood on Friday. A co-worker and I went to lunch and she pointed out that a man was walking across the street holding a phone up to his ear along with a cigar and a beer—all in one hand!

 

“It's 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?” ~ Amy Neftzger

   

Yeah Whatever

I’m still so in love with my Racer boy. He brings me so much joy. He is my mini oxytocin factory. Sometimes our adventures on the bus are daunting but I tell myself that it is better to deal with all the action that comes with using public transit than to sit home and shrivel up on the couch. Sure it is 20 degrees outside but we get to run down the street together, yes my guide dog decided it is more fun to run ever since winter showed up.  I feel invigorated and there is that rush of relief and excitement when we arrive at work and we both know that once again we did it as a team. Whew!

This morning we boarded the bus and it was mostly empty. The bus driver that I really like greeted us and said the seat at the front was available. I got Racer tucked in under me and a few stops later a woman got on and instead of walking further to the back of the bus she sat right by me. She started talking to my dog and asked if she could pet him. I said he was working and started to explain that if I let everyone pet him he will start to seek out attention from others and that would affect his concentration with guiding me. The bus driver then chimed in and said to the woman that she should leave the seats at the front of the bus for persons with disabilities. She complied and moved away. I was so thankful to the bus driver for having my back. He has witnessed over the past few months over and over again people trying to interact with my dog. It really gets old explaining the rules every morning to a new person. I’m not a social person and especially in the morning, I’m just not in the mood. People are just curious and excited to see a nice looking dog and I know they mean well. I don’t mind  if someone makes a comment to me about my dog or asks me questions but my dog isn’t just a play thing that I take around to show off. I’m totally blind and trying to navigate through the city and I usually have butterflies in my stomach until I get to work safely.

Yesterday we had a different bus driver so I told him which stop I needed and took a seat. The bus was pretty crowded and a group of guys got on and sat across from me. One of the men started petting Racer without asking and I could tell because he was petting so vigorously that Racer’s head was bouncing all over. I told the man to please not pet him and he actually continued doing it so I reached down and placed my hand on top of his hand and said a second time to please not pet him; he is working. The man’s response was, “Yeah, whatever.”

 

“I walked to work. I paced up and down the bus looking for a seat. Next time I walk to work I’m getting on my treadmill.”
― Jarod Kintz

Got It Maid

It’s probably been over two years since I decided to hire Myrna. It felt so frivolous to hire someone to clean my place but I figured it was important to me, and if I managed my money carefully, I could handle the expense. Besides I don’t have a car payment. My condo was so beautiful and new when I bought it, I didn’t want it to lose its shine. I know there are plenty of blind people who do a great job cleaning, but it just is too much for me when I work full time. I just don’t have the energy to stay on top of the dust. Sometimes when you have a disability it makes sense to spend extra money to make your life easier and more enjoyable. I know a guy who is blind and he likes to splurge on pedicures once a month. I decided to try a house cleaner and hired Myrna.  If it started to feel like a waste of money, I could just tell her I changed my mind. She cleaned the first time and I never looked back. I was delighted with how the place was transformed. My toes would sink into the plush carpet, which had felt thread bare the day before. It seemed like I was in a hotel. She even washes my windows.  Every time she does her magic I am once again singing her praises. In books and articles I’ve read there is sometimes a story of an elderly person who dies and leaves a chunk of money to the maid. It never made any sense to me until I met Myrna! My quality of life has been enriched. Now with Racer in the house it can get pretty hairy. I bought a Dyson and when I first vacuumed after my dog had been with me a few weeks, I couldn’t believe the amount of furriness that was emptied from the vacuum. It was like a mini Racer was compacted inside the Dyson. In between Myrna’s visits I venture to take out the vacuum. Racer watches me like he doesn’t trust me with the contraption. I expect him to run when he sees me with the noisy machine but instead he acts like he needs to supervise or protect me from myself. He stares as I push several levers and buttons and pull out all the extensions. Once I’m finished, I scratch my head about how to put it all back together. Accomplishment washes over me when the endeavor is over. Racer and I, feeling very relieved and worn out from our duties, trot to our respective spots in the living room and take a nap.

“I was frustrated as a child when I had to use a vacuum. It had a screaming noise and the smell of stale dog and a lack of performance.” James Dyson

 

Random Interactions

My Guide Dog and I step off the bus and walk to the corner, and line up at the bump dots that have taken the place of the curb. I hear the roar of the parallel traffic and tell my dog to cross the street. We glide along straight as an arrow and step back onto the sidewalk. Racer tells me he needs to take a leak. I slip off his harness and we step onto some grass. Right in midstream, a guy from out of nowhere says, “Can I pet your dog?” I explain that it isn’t a good time. We then continue up the block and Racer stops at the next curb and I tell him to take a right. We make the turn and a woman asks, “Do you need to cross that street?” I am a little out of patience and reply a firm, “No!” She is wondering why my dog took me right to the curb but then turned instead of crossing. She doesn’t realize that it is the way he is supposed to make his turns. I don’t have time to give this lady a lesson on guide dog training today. I’ve got to get to the office. The woman continues to follow me and she comes up along my side and says, “That building you are passing is the Immigration Building.” I guess she has taken it upon herself to become my tour guide for SLC. I take this route every day and I’m a block from my office. I tell her that I’m aware of that and I keep walking briskly, hoping she doesn’t follow me to the next intersection because I really don’t want to have to have a talkative shadow all the way to work. Apparently she disappears into thin air because I never hear of her again. Finally we cross the last street in our route and we are 35 seconds from my office when a lady approaches with a barking dog. I stop Racer and tell the woman that we will wait while she passes. I’ve decided from previous experience that it’s better to not walk through the distraction because my dog will not be focused until the other dog is gone. The woman walks by all the while yelling at her dog, “No, no, no!” Racer seemed interested but calm.

Before going blind, before getting a Guide Dog, before taking the bus and becoming more of a pedestrian I never had so many interactions before 8 AM. Sometimes these interactions are amusing, interesting, or scary. Today it was just a little annoying.

Friends

I expected that things in my life would change when I received my first Guide Dog, but it is different than what I imagined. Parts of my life that I never dreamed would change did, and things I expected to change stayed the same. One example of this is friendship. I actually have lost friends since getting my Guide. I don’t fully understand it all but how I see it is that I started standing up for myself since Racer arrived. Some of my friends didn’t know how to accommodate that change in me. I don’t blame them because when you form a friendship you usually fall into roles and continue to carry out those roles because it is comfortable and when something changes, it can be hard to readjust. Also I retreated a bit from friends when my dog was bitten by another dog in a store shortly after he arrived here. I’m not always the best communicator so I am sure I share the blame. I don’t want to dwell on the lost friendships because I have also gained many fulfilling friendships because of Racer. Many of these great people are affiliated with Guide Dogs for the Blind (GDB). Some are people at work that have reached out to me. Some are people living right in my building but we had never connected until we started chatting about our quirky dogs. I have become friends with a lovely woman at our bus stop. It makes our bus route more interesting and fun when Racer & I exit our first bus and head around the corner to catch the second bus, and as we walk I hear a cheery voice call out, “Hey Jenny! How are you? Guess what happened to me last night?" A smile comes over my face and I know that it was totally worth it to get up at 5:30 for the millionth time and trudge out the door to face my fears and continue the routine. I love my friends!  

Cheesecake

Two of my nieces had a slumber party at my place last weekend. Racer was in heaven. He loved having all the attention from the girls. We were overly stuffed from lunch at Cheesecake Factory so the girls got their cheesecake to go and later they fished it out of the refrigerator for a snack as we watched Confessions of a Shopaholic. Racer was staring longingly at my nieces while they sat on the couch eating the sweet sugarness. He knows that I will never give in to give him a taste but he still was holding out hope for the nieces. The girls decided they had worked on the desserts long enough and were going to return it to the refrigerator when the cheesecake slipped from their hand, and luckily was salvaged, although a large dollop landed on the kitchen tile. It was right in view of Racer but he just calmly sat there watching and didn’t even make a move to sneak a taste. What a good boy! Food isn’t his weakness at all. As I’ve said before, his foibles include sniffing bushes and flowers on our path through the neighborhood. He also loves other dogs and stops to wag his tail and watch them on our route.

The girls slept in the living room with Racer while I retreated to my room. Racer usually wakes me at 6:30 on the weekends but this particular day he didn’t come find me until 7:00 am. Hooray an extra 30 minutes! That has never happened. I can’t wait until the next slumber party!