Time Races By

I was thinking back to the first few days home with Racer . The morning we flew home he knew something was up because I skipped his breakfast so that he wouldn’t be needing bathroom breaks during the flight. I shouldn’t say skipped because he did get his breakfast that day only it was a little later after we were in SLC. Bob had arrived in CA in time to attend the graduation and we were now flying home all together. We landed in UT and Bob told me to wait by the baggage claim with Racer while he stepped outside to find out which shuttle to take. He starts walking away and Racer looks up at me, once he realized I wasn’t budging, he took matters into his own hands and I think he was thinking, We need to follow that man because I have no idea where we are and this girl is blind! He takes off trotting after Bob as if to say, WAIT! Don’t leave me alone with this chick! I was gripping the harness and calling out to Bob, “I guess we are following you! “Racer had only known me for 2 weeks and only known Bob for 36 hours. It only took him that long to realize who knew what was what. The next morning I was at my office bright and early ready to show Racer around the area. All the cubicles look alike of course (rat maze), and Racer took a while to learn exactly where to turn for my cubicle. He kept turning into the cubicle next to mine instead. Ron, one of my co-workers, in an effort to help Racer remember my cubicle, drew a picture of a dog and splashed some coconut oil on the drawing (he said his dog loves coconut oil). He placed the scented drawing right outside my cubicle right at Racers level. It was a cute idea! The GDB instructor and I had a good laugh.     

It Makes Sense

I am in awe of my experience with blindness. I’m not saying I wouldn’t jump at the chance to get my vision back, but honestly it is interesting to me to think about the way I experienced the world when I had sight verses now when I am blind. Just thinking about the human body and how it compensates, I remember going to a lecture where the speaker said that the visual cortex is a very large part of the brain. But when a person goes blind the brain switches gears and sends more signals to the other parts of the brain which control the other senses, so they get more nutrients and blood flow and they grow larger and larger while the visual cortex actually shrinks.

It’s springtime now, and today I was on my early morning walk around the Avenues. My guide dog leads me and takes the stress out of navigating through the neighborhood so I am able to daydream and notice what my other senses are picking up. We set out at 6:30 am, and at that time there are so many birds singing. It is so loud and beautiful that it makes me imagine that I am in a rain forest. I even hear a wood pecker nearby. I start to smell fragrant flowers that are so sweet and the scent is so potent I think I must be walking through a flower shop. I want to bottle it and use it for perfume. This particular morning a very unexpected scent hits my nose, and I could tell my dog was keen to it too. The most sensational aroma of fried chicken permeated this section of the block. How strange! At this hour of the morning? Really! I don’t know who was drooling more, me or my dog!

I used to go on many walks when I was sighted, but I don’t remember experiencing any of the things that caught my interest this morning on our fabulous walk through the Avenues!

Street Corner Religion

This originally appeared on the Vision Through Words blog on Feb 10, 2016.

https://visionthroughwords.wordpress.com/2016/02/10/street-corner-religion/

 

 I was walking from the bus to my office one cold morning. I was standing at the corner of an intersection waiting for the light to change and cupping my one free hand over my nose and mouth to stay warm. A man walked up and said, “Hi doggie, what’s your name?” I said, “Please don’t talk to him because he is working.” The man then starts talking to me and says he used to be on oxygen, but then God healed him. “Oh that’s nice,” I said. My ears perk up and I realize that the light has changed, and we are so close to getting to my warm office. I give Racer the hand gesture for forward, and don’t have to say anything; he just starts leading me across. The man stays put, but I hear him calling after us, “I prayed, and prayed, and prayed.” His words just hung in the chilly air echoing on and on. It’s weird but I felt like my dog was in agreement with me that this guy was a quack. Maybe what he had to share with me was meaningful but his delivery was lacking. I couldn’t help but wonder why he had decided to share that bit of information with me. Was he indicating that his illness was similar to my blindness and he wanted to offer praying as a solution? Would he have shared this information with just anyone at the corner? I can’t help but feel that it had something to do with my disability. Multiple times I’ve been approached by other strangers who try to tell me that there are doctors who can fix my blindness. They are certain that they have read somewhere about a procedure that will help me. I assure them that I visit a specialist every year who would inform me of any cutting edge remedies. I’ve come to terms with my blindness, but apparently people I sometimes encounter have not. If I were to tell that man my true feelings about praying to be healed, I would say that it would feel too arrogant to ask God to heal me. I would rather God spend his energy on more pressing issues, like granting food to the starving children around the world. Blindness, I can deal with. Going without food, now that’s a problem.

Got It Maid

It’s probably been over two years since I decided to hire Myrna. It felt so frivolous to hire someone to clean my place but I figured it was important to me, and if I managed my money carefully, I could handle the expense. Besides I don’t have a car payment. My condo was so beautiful and new when I bought it, I didn’t want it to lose its shine. I know there are plenty of blind people who do a great job cleaning, but it just is too much for me when I work full time. I just don’t have the energy to stay on top of the dust. Sometimes when you have a disability it makes sense to spend extra money to make your life easier and more enjoyable. I know a guy who is blind and he likes to splurge on pedicures once a month. I decided to try a house cleaner and hired Myrna.  If it started to feel like a waste of money, I could just tell her I changed my mind. She cleaned the first time and I never looked back. I was delighted with how the place was transformed. My toes would sink into the plush carpet, which had felt thread bare the day before. It seemed like I was in a hotel. She even washes my windows.  Every time she does her magic I am once again singing her praises. In books and articles I’ve read there is sometimes a story of an elderly person who dies and leaves a chunk of money to the maid. It never made any sense to me until I met Myrna! My quality of life has been enriched. Now with Racer in the house it can get pretty hairy. I bought a Dyson and when I first vacuumed after my dog had been with me a few weeks, I couldn’t believe the amount of furriness that was emptied from the vacuum. It was like a mini Racer was compacted inside the Dyson. In between Myrna’s visits I venture to take out the vacuum. Racer watches me like he doesn’t trust me with the contraption. I expect him to run when he sees me with the noisy machine but instead he acts like he needs to supervise or protect me from myself. He stares as I push several levers and buttons and pull out all the extensions. Once I’m finished, I scratch my head about how to put it all back together. Accomplishment washes over me when the endeavor is over. Racer and I, feeling very relieved and worn out from our duties, trot to our respective spots in the living room and take a nap.

“I was frustrated as a child when I had to use a vacuum. It had a screaming noise and the smell of stale dog and a lack of performance.” James Dyson

 

Random Interactions

My Guide Dog and I step off the bus and walk to the corner, and line up at the bump dots that have taken the place of the curb. I hear the roar of the parallel traffic and tell my dog to cross the street. We glide along straight as an arrow and step back onto the sidewalk. Racer tells me he needs to take a leak. I slip off his harness and we step onto some grass. Right in midstream, a guy from out of nowhere says, “Can I pet your dog?” I explain that it isn’t a good time. We then continue up the block and Racer stops at the next curb and I tell him to take a right. We make the turn and a woman asks, “Do you need to cross that street?” I am a little out of patience and reply a firm, “No!” She is wondering why my dog took me right to the curb but then turned instead of crossing. She doesn’t realize that it is the way he is supposed to make his turns. I don’t have time to give this lady a lesson on guide dog training today. I’ve got to get to the office. The woman continues to follow me and she comes up along my side and says, “That building you are passing is the Immigration Building.” I guess she has taken it upon herself to become my tour guide for SLC. I take this route every day and I’m a block from my office. I tell her that I’m aware of that and I keep walking briskly, hoping she doesn’t follow me to the next intersection because I really don’t want to have to have a talkative shadow all the way to work. Apparently she disappears into thin air because I never hear of her again. Finally we cross the last street in our route and we are 35 seconds from my office when a lady approaches with a barking dog. I stop Racer and tell the woman that we will wait while she passes. I’ve decided from previous experience that it’s better to not walk through the distraction because my dog will not be focused until the other dog is gone. The woman walks by all the while yelling at her dog, “No, no, no!” Racer seemed interested but calm.

Before going blind, before getting a Guide Dog, before taking the bus and becoming more of a pedestrian I never had so many interactions before 8 AM. Sometimes these interactions are amusing, interesting, or scary. Today it was just a little annoying.